i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
