They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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