well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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