1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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