what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
