At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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