I think I died a long time ago.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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