I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
