dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
