Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
