My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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