she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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