we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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