I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
