I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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