AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
