North Korea, Best Korea!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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