He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
When are your genitals available?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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