Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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