Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
