can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
