I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
