just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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