Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
