I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just cut my nipple shaving
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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