I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
