Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
