So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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