he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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