How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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