Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
