my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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