Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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