Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize