508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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