Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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