Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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