I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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