dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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