i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he thought i was a dude.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
