Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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