i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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