I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
