so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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