some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
