Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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