my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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