I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have feelings that need drinking.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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