Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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