Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just found puke in my bra..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
