The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
