Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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