You just made me feel so damn special
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
