I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
