he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
