I bet he comes in French.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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