He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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