I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
