just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
