we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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