good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
