Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
